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Monday, July 26, 2004
The Worst Bands in Iceland.
Iceland has its share of good bands, these bands have been attracting attention to the icelandic music scene in recent years, unfortunately we also have some pretty dreadful bands, here are a few of them, know them and avoid them at all costs!
MAUS Okay, this is a truly dreadful band, possibly the single most dreadful band in iceland, they have been around for thirteen years or so and it is a constant source of amazement to me how theyre singer shows no improvement as a vocalist over time, their lyrics still suck and the vocals are still out of tune, also they still sound like the Cure are theyre favorite band, this band proves that you can give a monkey a typewriter and it will not produce anything but gibberish no matter how much speed you feed it. Music journalists will have you believe that this is a good band for the simple reason that the vocalist is a journalist and good friend of other journalists, truly the band from Hell!
Vínyll Horror of horrors! This band is second only to Maus in the sheer awfulness category. This four piece band has two incredibly ugly twin brothers in it, one of them plays drums and the other is the lead vocalist, it must be said that this band can actually play pretty well, however they could not write a good song if theyre lives depended on it.
A few years ago this band was a backing band for the ugly twins sister whos name is Móa, she was married to a fat politician and looked slightly similar to Uma Thurman crossed with the Chucky character from the Childs Play movies, avoid!
Mínus I have to mention these guys, here is a band that might actually become, well maybe not great but possibly okay, i kind of like theyre music a bit but the vocalist fucks it up badly with some really tacky lyrics, file under disposable heavy metal.
Okay, at present these are my three least favorite icelandic bands, there are many other really horrible bands in iceland but these three are bands that many icelanders for some reason or other consider "Hip" which means that they think tourists or people that work in the music buisness should hear them, these are bands that the icelandic media would have foreigners believe are "The next Björk" or something, dont believe the hype! These bands are shit!
Iceland has its share of good bands, these bands have been attracting attention to the icelandic music scene in recent years, unfortunately we also have some pretty dreadful bands, here are a few of them, know them and avoid them at all costs!
MAUS Okay, this is a truly dreadful band, possibly the single most dreadful band in iceland, they have been around for thirteen years or so and it is a constant source of amazement to me how theyre singer shows no improvement as a vocalist over time, their lyrics still suck and the vocals are still out of tune, also they still sound like the Cure are theyre favorite band, this band proves that you can give a monkey a typewriter and it will not produce anything but gibberish no matter how much speed you feed it. Music journalists will have you believe that this is a good band for the simple reason that the vocalist is a journalist and good friend of other journalists, truly the band from Hell!
Vínyll Horror of horrors! This band is second only to Maus in the sheer awfulness category. This four piece band has two incredibly ugly twin brothers in it, one of them plays drums and the other is the lead vocalist, it must be said that this band can actually play pretty well, however they could not write a good song if theyre lives depended on it.
A few years ago this band was a backing band for the ugly twins sister whos name is Móa, she was married to a fat politician and looked slightly similar to Uma Thurman crossed with the Chucky character from the Childs Play movies, avoid!
Mínus I have to mention these guys, here is a band that might actually become, well maybe not great but possibly okay, i kind of like theyre music a bit but the vocalist fucks it up badly with some really tacky lyrics, file under disposable heavy metal.
Okay, at present these are my three least favorite icelandic bands, there are many other really horrible bands in iceland but these three are bands that many icelanders for some reason or other consider "Hip" which means that they think tourists or people that work in the music buisness should hear them, these are bands that the icelandic media would have foreigners believe are "The next Björk" or something, dont believe the hype! These bands are shit!
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Food!
Icelandic food sucks, there, i´ve said it!
Okay, maybe some Icelandic food doesn´t suck, but the food Icelanders try to get tourists to eat sucks, it sucks a lot in fact.
There is a long standing tradition amongst the Icelandic people to try to fool foreigners into tasting food that Icelanders would not eat themselves unless either drunk or just plain stupid, these foodstuffs include rotten shark, burnt sheep heads and sour rams testicles.
Now you might think that these items of food sound less than appetizing and you would be quite right in assuming so, in fact these foodstuffs date back to our forefathers times, that is to say they date back to the time before the invention of the refrigerator, they date to the times when Icelanders would piss on dead sharks to make them smell less rotten, when we would incinerate sheeps heads to keep out the worms, and when we would do whatever the fuck it is we do to rams testicles to make them edible.
So when an Icelander offers you these, or other special Icelandic delicacies just say no, or better still make that Icelandic person eat the stuff he wanted you to eat then go grab a burger or something.
Icelandic food sucks, there, i´ve said it!
Okay, maybe some Icelandic food doesn´t suck, but the food Icelanders try to get tourists to eat sucks, it sucks a lot in fact.
There is a long standing tradition amongst the Icelandic people to try to fool foreigners into tasting food that Icelanders would not eat themselves unless either drunk or just plain stupid, these foodstuffs include rotten shark, burnt sheep heads and sour rams testicles.
Now you might think that these items of food sound less than appetizing and you would be quite right in assuming so, in fact these foodstuffs date back to our forefathers times, that is to say they date back to the time before the invention of the refrigerator, they date to the times when Icelanders would piss on dead sharks to make them smell less rotten, when we would incinerate sheeps heads to keep out the worms, and when we would do whatever the fuck it is we do to rams testicles to make them edible.
So when an Icelander offers you these, or other special Icelandic delicacies just say no, or better still make that Icelandic person eat the stuff he wanted you to eat then go grab a burger or something.
Women!
Icelandic women look very nice, this is a fact.
Not so long ago Icelandic travel agencies used to advertise Icelandic women as easy to get into the sack, they would show you pictures of Icelandic women such as our former Miss World Linda Pétursdóttir and in the pictures all she would be wearing was a woolen sweater, sometimes there would be many women wearing that same woolen sweater at the same time, the hidden message of these advertisments for those who have first hand knowledge of woolen sweaters is of course that in Iceland there are some women just dying to get out of that unconfortable piece of clothing and they will all just jump into bed with the first butt-ugly German tourist that helps them out of this garment.
Well, things have changed here in Iceland over the last few years, Linda Pétursdóttir stopped drinking and is less likely to jump into bed with tourists, besides, she doesnt live in Iceland anymore.
Also, those blonde Nordic creatures that used to be our major selling point have changed over the last decade or so, they used to look similar to Linda Pétursdóttir but that was due to the fact that they drank cod liver oil and ate haddock, now they drink Diet-Coke and eat pizzas and hamburgers, this diet alters their physical appearance somewhat.
So now we have nordic beauties with fat asses, this makes them feel inferior so they often get breast inplants, theyre feelings of inferiority usually make them much easier to get into the sack, to me this is a plus, i prefer big asses and boobs but the travel agencies have a problem with this look, so they went back to advertising the Icelandic horse, but who wants to fuck a horse anyway? Not me at least.
Icelandic women look very nice, this is a fact.
Not so long ago Icelandic travel agencies used to advertise Icelandic women as easy to get into the sack, they would show you pictures of Icelandic women such as our former Miss World Linda Pétursdóttir and in the pictures all she would be wearing was a woolen sweater, sometimes there would be many women wearing that same woolen sweater at the same time, the hidden message of these advertisments for those who have first hand knowledge of woolen sweaters is of course that in Iceland there are some women just dying to get out of that unconfortable piece of clothing and they will all just jump into bed with the first butt-ugly German tourist that helps them out of this garment.
Well, things have changed here in Iceland over the last few years, Linda Pétursdóttir stopped drinking and is less likely to jump into bed with tourists, besides, she doesnt live in Iceland anymore.
Also, those blonde Nordic creatures that used to be our major selling point have changed over the last decade or so, they used to look similar to Linda Pétursdóttir but that was due to the fact that they drank cod liver oil and ate haddock, now they drink Diet-Coke and eat pizzas and hamburgers, this diet alters their physical appearance somewhat.
So now we have nordic beauties with fat asses, this makes them feel inferior so they often get breast inplants, theyre feelings of inferiority usually make them much easier to get into the sack, to me this is a plus, i prefer big asses and boobs but the travel agencies have a problem with this look, so they went back to advertising the Icelandic horse, but who wants to fuck a horse anyway? Not me at least.
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Music!
There are some pretty cool bands in Iceland, first and foremost amongst these cool bands are Funk Harmony Park that, as luck would have it is my band, so if you keep coming back to this Blogpage you might actually learn a thing or two about the coolest band in Iceland from one of it´s members, how cool is that? Lucky you!
Another of the coolest bands in Iceland is Brain Police, they are 3 fat guys and a skinny singer that play heavy metal, i think they are cool because 3 of them are fat, otherwise they would just be an average metal band but the fat guys make them special.
Heiðingjarnir (The Heathens) are pretty cool also, their singer used to be my sister in law so that makes her cool by my book, also she can sing really well which is rare among Icelandic singers.
Brúðarbandið (The Brides) are also cool, they wear wedding dresses onstage which would be dead cool if they were men but since they are pretty women i think they look cool in dresses also.
I am going to add some links to these cool bands very soon but now i must go and look at myself in the mirror for a while to see if i still look as beautiful as i did yesterday, until the next time, farewell and bode thee well!
There are some pretty cool bands in Iceland, first and foremost amongst these cool bands are Funk Harmony Park that, as luck would have it is my band, so if you keep coming back to this Blogpage you might actually learn a thing or two about the coolest band in Iceland from one of it´s members, how cool is that? Lucky you!
Another of the coolest bands in Iceland is Brain Police, they are 3 fat guys and a skinny singer that play heavy metal, i think they are cool because 3 of them are fat, otherwise they would just be an average metal band but the fat guys make them special.
Heiðingjarnir (The Heathens) are pretty cool also, their singer used to be my sister in law so that makes her cool by my book, also she can sing really well which is rare among Icelandic singers.
Brúðarbandið (The Brides) are also cool, they wear wedding dresses onstage which would be dead cool if they were men but since they are pretty women i think they look cool in dresses also.
I am going to add some links to these cool bands very soon but now i must go and look at myself in the mirror for a while to see if i still look as beautiful as i did yesterday, until the next time, farewell and bode thee well!
Monday, March 29, 2004
ME!
Howdy! My name is Elvis2 and i am Icelandic, i live in Reykjavik which is the capital of Iceland, i am a member of the band Funk Harmony Park, you have probably never heard of us but you will someday, im pretty sure of that.
What to say? Hmm. i like Asian action and horror movies, also old monster movies with large monsters that stomp on buildings, Italian westerns are also pretty cool.
I collect ethnic musical instruments and try to use them in my band with questionable results, for instance a Vietnamese musician would probably cringe if he heard how i abuse a Dan Bau (a one stringed guitar) and an Indian musician would laugh his ass off at my feeble attempts at Tabla drumming.
Okay, im going to continue with this later, bye for now!
Howdy! My name is Elvis2 and i am Icelandic, i live in Reykjavik which is the capital of Iceland, i am a member of the band Funk Harmony Park, you have probably never heard of us but you will someday, im pretty sure of that.
What to say? Hmm. i like Asian action and horror movies, also old monster movies with large monsters that stomp on buildings, Italian westerns are also pretty cool.
I collect ethnic musical instruments and try to use them in my band with questionable results, for instance a Vietnamese musician would probably cringe if he heard how i abuse a Dan Bau (a one stringed guitar) and an Indian musician would laugh his ass off at my feeble attempts at Tabla drumming.
Okay, im going to continue with this later, bye for now!
This is my new Blogpage!
Today is my birthday! I decided to start writing a Blog in English for no special reason, this is it.
Today is my birthday! I decided to start writing a Blog in English for no special reason, this is it.
